Guidance

Things happen in life that can be difficult. When I learn of a circumstance or situation I don’t like, I jump to “I don’t know what to do.” This is a clue that I have immediately went into “control mode.” This is my reaction to fear that the worst-case scenario is about to happen. I have insight today to know this is what’s going on. At this point I have a decision, to dive headlong into doubt and worry which leads to fear then panic! Or I can choose to stop, accept my discomfort, and pray for guidance.

My first marriage lasted twenty-four years. He was an alcoholic with narcissistic traits, and I was a very sick co-dependent. The two of us managed to destroy that marriage. Twenty-nine years ago, he went to treatment, and I went to therapy. I needed treatment but there was no inpatient treatment for what I had. We both embarked on our recovery journey and tried to put our marriage back together but finally got divorced. “Two sickies don’t make a welly!” It was a messy divorce. A cluster with a capital “F”. Six months after our divorce was final, my ex-husband was diagnosed with cancer. Through this process we changed and made amends to each other. During the final days, he was in the hospital, and I had gone to stay with him. In the past we had never been able to dance together. I thought he was a bad dancer. It was in the middle of the night and music was playing on the TV and he wanted to dance. I agreed and to my surprise we had a lovely dance. During the dance I realized the reason we could never dance well together before was because I always tried to lead! Through recovery I had learned to let go of control.

When two people try to lead the dance is out of sync, jerky and doesn’t flow with the music. Everything is uncomfortable and doesn’t feel right. When one person relaxes and lets the other lead, both begin to flow with the music. The one leading gives a cue, a nudge or gentle pressure to go in the right direction. It’s as if the two become one, moving in sync and flow. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

I relate this story to the way I am about those difficult situations in my life. I can stop and accept the situation or circumstance as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment, or I can react with fear. I can accept being uncomfortable and pray for guidance. I can ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision, then if I get a gentle nudge, I can have faith and take the inspired action. I have shifted from reacting into responding. Both words Faith and Fear are unseen to the human eye!

Let’s look at that word guidance again. I see G and I think of God, followed by “U’ and “I” dance. We work in cooperation with God, our fellows and ourselves to know what the right action or inaction to take. In this dance I let God and input from a trusted friend or mentor lead me. The dance of life goes smoothly, and I can relax knowing that I will get the right information, courage to do the right thing or to take no action at this time. I become a creator of my life rather than a victim of life.

“Life’s a dance you learn as you go, sometimes you lead sometimes you follow, don’t worry about what you don’t know, life’s a dance you learn as you go!”

“When you get the chance to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance.”

“Be you on Purpose!”

With love and integrity,

Rhonda